Apart - Gray Light
“The title track Gray Light is more or less about literally losing a loved one, as opposed to the more figurative themes that exist within the rest of the record. It’s a vague description of what I went through after finding out that my best friend was run over by a drunk driver while jogging. It’s about coming to terms with mortality at an early age, and about losing faith completely, just to regain it out of hopelessness. The name of the song and record come from the line “He walked out in the gray light and stood and he saw for a brief moment the absolute truth of the world”, which is the book The Road by Cormac McCarthy. That line always stuck with me, and just made sense when I was writing a record about, essentially, growing up. I think everyone’s had that moment where they’ve seen something for what it really is and after that moment nothing ever really feels the same. For better or worse.” - Lukas for Absolute Punk
“It sinks in. The stares as I pace. The red of my eyes throughout the almost empty hallways. The phone call that ended my faith. It all sinks in and I start to drown with it.
I start to wonder when it happened did you see the sun?
Or did you land on your chest, your face in the dirt,
did you say a thing?
Even last words are only words.
Because I feel less and less.
When the songs we sing make it to heaven, would our long lost friends hear them or even listen?
Do our words get lost in the clouds? Are we wasting our breath singing so loud?
Aren’t we just like God? Wasting our breath?
Does it leave you worried?
(from time to time)
Does it keep your hands shaking?
(like it does mine)
Does it break your heart?
(to leave your friends behind)
I shook hands with your mother today
I heard her faith couldn’t carry the weight
I heard your spirit, I heard your voice break
It was soccer, it was drinking,
it was acting to old for our age, only 16
always thinking why wasn’t it me?
it should have been me.
The church pews, and their faces
the silence, the spaces
where the light leaks in
where the light leaked in
I’ll always look
I’ll always hope for some light to leak in.”